HERE’S WHICH ‘AMERICAN HORROR STORY’ SEASON EMBODIES YOUR ZODIAC SIGN
Find out which ‘AHS’ season aligns perfectly with your zodiac sign!
ARIES (MARCH 21 – APRIL 19): Freak Show
No one embodies Aries more than Jessica Lang’s Elsa Mars. A natural born star and leader, season four of “American Horror Story” was all about embracing your inner freak and celebrating what makes you different. Aries make no apologies for who they are and will always stand proudly with those around them. Plus they’re unafraid to put on a show and be fiery at all times!
TAURUS (APRIL 20 – MAY 20): Asylum
When we think of Asylum, we think of our fav Sarah Paulson’s Lana Winters, who’s indomitable spirit left her as the season’s final girl. It doesn’t matter if a Taurus needs to go up against Sister Jude or Bloody Face, they are a survivor no matter what! This Earth sign has the uncanny ability to take straw and spin gold. This is not only your season, it’s your moment. The indomitable Taurus spirit lives in this season for sure.
GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUNE 20): Hotel
Much like Lady Gaga in Hotel, all Geminis are icons who know how to make an entrance. They’re also the master of vibes: be it Noir, LA, goth but above all else chic. By day, Gemini may be a glamorous rockstar, but at night they are McQueen-chic vamps who know how to get the party started. Even if it’s at the Hotel Cortez. They’re always willing to spice it up and bring out their inner sass.
CANCER (JUNE 21 – JULY 22): Cult
Nothing is more terrifying than reality, and Cancer knows this. While not the most beloved season of AHS, there’s no doubt that Evan Peters' performance as cult leader Kai Anderson had an iron-clad grip on viewers. Election season is nigh, and a Cancer’s voice has the ability to not only to bring down the establishment but change the minds of others.
LEO (JULY 23 – AUGUST 22): Roanoke
Mysterious and elusive, we all wondered what Ryan Murphy was cooking up for the sixth season of AHS, and we were genuinely surprised to find out it would be documentary-style. You know who loves it? Leos! We can see them racoon eyed, binging Unsolved Mysteries with a slice of Papa Johns in their hands. Leos have a natural curiosity for the unknown and absorb all the facts around them.
VIRGO (AUGUST 23 – SEPTEMBER 22): Murder House
Virgos are most likely to buy a haunted mansion in Los Angeles, not because they understand the value of Victorian homes here, but because they’re perfectionists looking for a good story. The inaugural season of “American Horror Story” is what sparked our love for the series and has kept us glued since!
LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 – OCTOBER 22): NYC
The eleventh season is finally here and it’s bringing back Zachary Quinto, who has been MIA from the series since Murder House and Asylum. Libras embody NYC energy: kinetic, creative and savage. There is nothing scarier than moving to the Big Apple, but Libras are always destined to be big fish in big ponds.
SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 – NOVEMBER 21): American Horror Stories
Scorpios are not content with being on someone else’s show. They want a spin off that takes the original source material and expands it to something bigger and better. In “American Horror Stories,” we are treated to depth, decay and all sorts of new realms of shadow. Scorpios, too, will love diving deeper than ever before.
SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 – DECEMBER 21): Apocalypse
“American Horror Story: Apocalypse” was Ryan Murphy’s answer to Avengers Endgame. We saw the witches of New Orleans assemble to take on the Satanic Murder House baby, Michael (played by the delicious Cody Fern). The world ended, but rest assured. Sagittarius would survive the burning flames of the apocalypse and be the one group to rise up and save the world by re-setting the timeline.
CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 – JANUARY 19): Double Feature
Hard facts: Capricorns are always brainstorming long-term plans and would probably need to retreat to Provincetown just to get some inspiration! They may inevitably take a creativity pill that’ll turn them into blood sucking fiends…but as long as they got that Netflix deal, they’re golden. The tenth season of AHS started with a bang and slowly whimpered when it got to Death Valley. But no matter, it held our attention and brought style and a drab atmosphere back to the series.
AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 – FEBRUARY 18): 1984
Let's be real. Aquarians are most likely the ones to survive if a slasher was chasing them and their friends through an abandoned campground. What we love about this season so much was the celebration of the slasher genre, from Halloween to Friday the 13th. This season understood what made those movies special. Also, major shout out to Leslie Grossman’s Margaret Booth who was the MVP of the season.
PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 – MARCH 20): Coven
Glamorous and evil. Louboutins and a machete. Is there any other way to describe the dichotomy of a Pisces? Season three was a high for the series and embodies Pisces’ whimsical yet fierce nature. From New Orleans to Stevie Nicks to swamps to zombie boyfriends. This season covered a lot of ground and balanced horror and camp perfectly. We haven’t seen the witches since Apocalypse, and Ryan Murphy promised they’d return.
Special thanks to Paul Florez-Taylor from Power of X-MEN and Luke James for collaborating with me on this article!
To receive an astrological forecast from Kyle Thomas, please contact him at KyleThomasAstrology@gmail.com.
Kyle Thomas is also available to be hired as an astrologer for magazines, blogs, and articles.